It’s an honest to god joke that Kendall Jenner gets an ENTIRE Vogue magazine basically dedicated to her meanwhile there are models who have been in the industry for 10+ years who are lucky to even get chosen for a fucking print ad.
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99 Distractions for when you need them
- Drink a cup of hot tea
- Wear soft, comfortable clothes
- Take a bubble bath
- Take a long shower
- Get a massage
- Get a manicure
- Read a magazine
- Wash your hair
- Wrap up in a blanket
- Give yourself a facial
- Colour a colouring book
- Play with Lego
- Blow bubbles
- Light candles
- Read your favourite children’s book
- Make a snack
- Have a nap
- Watch a funny video
- Watch a good movie
- Read a joke book
- Watch the clouds go by
- Play with a pet
- Drive with the windows down
- Braid your hair
- Do a crossword puzzle
- Research a topic
- Complete a maze
- Play a word game
- Organise something
- Listen to a podcast
- Visit your local library
- Plan something
- Write in a journal
- Talk a walk
- Wash the dishes
- Stretch
- Dance around your room
- Iron your clothes
- Water your plants
- Go to the park
- Cook a nice meal
- Hoover the house
- Drive to a new part of town
- Hula hoop
- Practise your yoga
- Play tennis
- Rearrange your bedroom
- Go for a swim
- Run through the sprinkler
- Wash your sheets
- Ride a bike
- Go bowling
- Weed the garden
- Call a friend
- Make a gift for someone
- Write a thank you note
- Write a letter
- Meet up with a friend
- Visit a nursing home
- Message someone you love
- Invite someone to go shopping
- Bake bread
- Send an uplifting, kind anonymous message
- Doodle
- Invent something
- Paint
- Play an instrument
- Make an instrument
- Draw
- Create a video
- Draw yourself as a cartoon
- Visit an art museum
- Watch the buskers in town
- Do a craft project
- Try out a new recipe
- Plan a new outfit
- Decorate your room
- Meditate
- Pray
- Listen to guided meditation
- Download a new game
- Level up in an old game
- Take photographs
- Compliment someone
- Call your parents
- Play with your siblings
- Find new blogs to follow
- Give yourself a pep talk
- Moisturise
- Tidy your room
- Update your blog theme
- Make a smoothie
- Design your dream house
- Paint your toenails
- Clean your makeup brushes
- Write a story
- Clean the fridge
- Organise your wardrobe
- Watch a full season of a new show
99 Distractions for when you need them
- Drink a cup of hot tea
- Wear soft, comfortable clothes
- Take a bubble bath
- Take a long shower
- Get a massage
- Get a manicure
- Read a magazine
- Wash your hair
- Wrap up in a blanket
- Give yourself a facial
- Colour a colouring book
- Play with Lego
- Blow bubbles
- Light candles
- Read your favourite children’s book
- Make a snack
- Have a nap
- Watch a funny video
- Watch a good movie
- Read a joke book
- Watch the clouds go by
- Play with a pet
- Drive with the windows down
- Braid your hair
- Do a crossword puzzle
- Research a topic
- Complete a maze
- Play a word game
- Organise something
- Listen to a podcast
- Visit your local library
- Plan something
- Write in a journal
- Talk a walk
- Wash the dishes
- Stretch
- Dance around your room
- Iron your clothes
- Water your plants
- Go to the park
- Cook a nice meal
- Hoover the house
- Drive to a new part of town
- Hula hoop
- Practise your yoga
- Play tennis
- Rearrange your bedroom
- Go for a swim
- Run through the sprinkler
- Wash your sheets
- Ride a bike
- Go bowling
- Weed the garden
- Call a friend
- Make a gift for someone
- Write a thank you note
- Write a letter
- Meet up with a friend
- Visit a nursing home
- Message someone you love
- Invite someone to go shopping
- Bake bread
- Send an uplifting, kind anonymous message
- Doodle
- Invent something
- Paint
- Play an instrument
- Make an instrument
- Draw
- Create a video
- Draw yourself as a cartoon
- Visit an art museum
- Watch the buskers in town
- Do a craft project
- Try out a new recipe
- Plan a new outfit
- Decorate your room
- Meditate
- Pray
- Listen to guided meditation
- Download a new game
- Level up in an old game
- Take photographs
- Compliment someone
- Call your parents
- Play with your siblings
- Find new blogs to follow
- Give yourself a pep talk
- Moisturise
- Tidy your room
- Update your blog theme
- Make a smoothie
- Design your dream house
- Paint your toenails
- Clean your makeup brushes
- Write a story
- Clean the fridge
- Organise your wardrobe
- Watch a full season of a new show
i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition
this sounds like a plot for a goosebumps book about goosebumps books
Alternative harry potter titles:
Book 1: yer a wizard harry
Book 2: yer a parselmouth harry
Book 3: yer godfather’s a murderer harry
Book 4: yer a triwizard champion harry
Book 5: yer expelled harry
Book 6: yer a horcrux harry
Book 7: yer still a hor- no wait nevermind
To all my teenage and younger followers…
Let me tell you some life lessons I have learned in my 24 years on this Earth.
1. Read the fine print. In every lease agreement, credit card application, and bill. Never take the information in large print as truth. The world is a place full of capitalist greed and people will try to swindle you for every dime you have.
2. A credit card very rarely makes things better. While suddenly having a couple thousand dollars to spend might sound amazing, keep in mind the fact that you’re going to have to pay that back and then some. Never get a card with an annual fee if you can avoid it- because even if you don’t use it, it’ll still cost you.
3. Set up automatic payments. You will forget payments, and that can cost you (literally) a great deal. Set up automatic online payments with reminders so that you know it’s coming up, but don’t have to worry about it.
4. In-Store credit cards are almost always terrible. Sears, Home Depot, Victoria’s Secret- all of them. They are usually packaged with fun deals like “get $50 off this purchase if you’re pre-approved!”. They fail to mention the 25% interest rate, annual fees, and the fact that it can only be used in that store.
5. Keep your receipts. Seriously! Just keep a folder in your car and one in your house and drop every receipt you get in them. At the end of the month dump them out and go through them. You’ll be amazed at what your spending looks like when it’s splayed out in front of you. It makes budgeting much easier when you see real numbers. These can also come in handy around tax time- you would be surprised at the things you can write off in certain situations.
6. Learn about income tax. Visit the IRS website and educate yourself! It sounds boring (and it freakin’ is) but in no way does high school prepare you for or teach you about taxes well enough to hold your own in the real world.
7. Claim as little as possible on your W4. When you start a new job, they always give you a W4 to fill out for tax information. On line 5 of the form, it’ll ask how many allowances you want to claim. Now, claiming yourself may seem like a good idea because you get to keep more money on your paycheck- but it can also come back to bite you at the end of the year. You may even end up paying in! On that same note, make sure your employer files your tax information correctly. I once ended up paying in $8,000 in taxes because my employer never had the IRS take taxes out of my checks! Whoops!
8. Start a savings fund. No matter how small it is! Even if you just put away $2 a week- it will eventually add up. If you can, start a savings account that will earn you interest.
9. Save your paystubs! If you plan to buy a car or rent an apartment, they’re going to want to see them.
10. Write down the start and end dates of every job you have. Making a resume and filling out job applications will be much easier with this information.
11. Make a good resume and keep printed copies as well as a digital copy at all times. There are many excellent resume writing resources online that can help you (heck, I can help you- I used to work in HR!) buff up your resume. You never know when you might meet someone who can present you with an opportunity!
12. Never be afraid to ask for a raise or promotion. If you are performing well and meeting or exceeding expectations- ask your supervisor for a raise or change of position that will pay more. If you are aiming for a promotion, stroke the company’s ego, say something like “I would like the opportunity to prove my worth to the company and further my career with ( ).”
13. Debt collectors do not give up. They are a lot like the Terminator. If you block their numbers or ignore their calls, they’ll find your family members or show up at your house. This is no joke. I have had hospital bill collectors call roommates, my parents, and even my dad once. They are relentless and they do not care about your current situation or financial stability. They follow a script and expect you to pay up. It’s hard not to panic when you get that first collections call- you definitely don’t feel in control of the situation. But remember, debt collectors are actually bound by many restrictions- they are barred from:
-Using abusive or obscene language. -Harassing you with repeated calls.-Calling before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m. unless you agree. -Calling you at work if you have asked them to stop. -Talking to anyone but you or your attorney about the debt. -Misrepresenting the amount of your debt. -Falsely claiming to be an attorney or a law enforcement official. -Falsely claiming to be a credit bureau representative. -Threatening to sue unless they actually plan to take legal action. -Threatening to garnish wages or seize property unless they actually intend to do it.
Always ask for written information on the debt- tell them to send you a paper statement of the debt so that you can look it over and decide what to do. Offer to make payments that are within your financial means- if they try to bully you into making larger ones, tell them you are well aware that they’ve looked into your finances and should know what you are able to afford.
14. Get renters insurance. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it!
15. Take inventory of the things you own. If you own electronics, guns, or other expensive items, write down the serial numbers and take pictures of them in your house. That way, if there’s a break in, fire, or flash flood, you have documentation and data to provide to your insurance company.
I’ll add more as I think of them, but here’s a start. It’ll be tagged under “successfully adulting”.
EDIT: Here’s a link to the google drive document version of this. It will be updated periodically! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q_YnP3euuJcfjpQY7wuE1JmB_5e60ebZFsfW5f0MtGM/edit?usp=sharing
This document also includes a resources section with links to help you get started in many areas of adult life!
What’s the *male* equivalent of a sundress
freeballin in basketball shorts
dem grey sweats wit da dick print is my fav
This me
Those grey sweats with the dick print is my favorite too 😏
College Confession #27
For my friend’s halloween party, we wanted to play some adult versions of kids’ party games. One of these was “pin the condom on Gaston” (from Beauty and the Beast).
We found a picture of naked Gaston online, and emailed it to the university printing service. But, because we wanted it A3, we had to send it to the print shop, where people print out your thing and hand it to you, rather than just sending it to the self-service printers.
Eventually, it fell to me to go down to the print shop. I told the girl working there my id, and she went and printed it out, picked it up, glanced at it, and froze.
I tried to explain, but she didn’t want to hear it. She handed me my A3 picture of Gaston, with an enormous penis, and wouldn’t meet my eye. I folded it in half to stop anyone else from seeing it, then fled the scene.
The party went really well!
-University of Otago
//politely asks postal print employee to print 15 pages of segmented portions of optimus primes thick body so I can go home and tape them together and put him on my wall//
they’re having technical trouble so now three employees are at the computer now trying to get it to work
the files were fucked up so they had me open up my computer which was completely frozen on a picture of bowser and luigi kissing
- Book: *gets stressful*
- Me: Oh gosh. *puts down book*
- *two minutes later*
- Me: *picks book up*
- Book: *is still stressful*
- Me: Oh gOSH.